


Aggression

by velocitygrass



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Episode: s02e08 Conversion, Iratus-mutated Sheppard, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-20
Updated: 2013-11-20
Packaged: 2018-01-02 04:51:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1052731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velocitygrass/pseuds/velocitygrass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If John did to Rodney what he'd done to Teyla, it couldn't be easily explained by biological urges. It would change how Rodney looked at him forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aggression

**Author's Note:**

  * For [outsideth3box](https://archiveofourown.org/users/outsideth3box/gifts).



> This was written for outsideth3box who asked if I could write a Bug!John fic. Many thanks to wanted_a_pony for the beta and of course to outsideth3box for bidding for me!

John stared at the blue crust spreading over his skin.

It was as if it wasn't part of his body, but at the same time he could feel it growing. Just like certain feelings.

He hated losing control of this new aggressive side of himself, and he hoped that Elizabeth and Teyla would understand and forgive him. If he had been himself, he never would have treated them that way. He hoped it wouldn't permanently damage his relationship with them.

He was afraid of what else he might be capable of if Carson couldn't find a way to control what was growing in him.

His aggression toward Teyla and Elizabeth might escalate. Part of him applauded Elizabeth for keeping him locked up, even as another part demanded his freedom. At least if he was locked up he couldn't do anything unforgivable.

~~

The problem with being locked up was that he felt like a caged animal, which only seemed to increase his aggression. John felt _himself_ slipping away.

When the door opened he jumped up eagerly. Any change to the monotony and oppression was good. But it also meant that someone was here and there was a danger of him hurting someone.

John smelled him before he saw him.

No! Not Rodney. Why him? Why had he come here? As afraid as he was of losing control with Teyla and Elizabeth, he was even more afraid of facing Rodney. If John did to Rodney what he'd done to Teyla, it couldn't be easily explained by biological urges. It would change how Rodney looked at him forever.

"Leave," John demanded, not looking at Rodney.

"What?" Rodney asked.

John could sense his fear and was glad: it might make him go away more quickly. At the same time John felt horrible. His friends shouldn't be afraid of him. 

"You heard me," John said.

"I'm only here to tell you that Carson's still working on finding a solution," Rodney said.

John could hear him approaching. "Okay. So now you told me."

Rodney paused then came closer, walking around until he entered John's line of sight.

John could smell him, and suddenly he found himself pinning Rodney against a wall.

Rodney gave a small yelp but didn't follow it with a scream for help.

"I told you to leave," John said, still holding Rodney by the collar of his uniform jacket. John forced himself to let go but didn't back away. Rodney's smell was intoxicating up close.

Instead of leaving, Rodney hesitantly asked, "How are you feeling?"

John didn't know whether to laugh or snarl. Instead he leaned forward, sniffed, then licked a stripe up Rodney's neck. He tasted even better than he smelled.

Before the rational side that still lurked in the background could regret what he'd done, John suddenly sensed something other than fear in Rodney. Arousal.

It took all of John's strength not to give in to his primal urges. What he'd done to Teyla was nothing compared to what he wanted to do to Rodney. No matter how Rodney felt, John was sure he wasn't prepared to handle this. Even if he was, John himself wasn't.

"Leave now," he growled again. Then he managed to push himself back from the wall and walk towards the bed, willing Rodney to leave.

After an eternity in which John forced himself to remain still, Rodney finally moved. But he walked towards John, put a hand on John's shoulder, and turned him around. They looked at each other for a long moment. Then Rodney pulled him into a kiss.

If John had had any control left, it would have crumbled at that moment.

~~

When John woke up, he was alone.

The room was filled with the smell of sex. He was assaulted by memories of last night: flashes of pale skin, hastily uncovered as clothes were torn away; touching Rodney, tasting him; the suppressed little moans that Rodney had made and his incoherent pleas for more. Flashes of his mouth on Rodney's neck, on his nipples—Rodney had trembled with want when John sucked them in. Rodney's hands in his hair and on his back, pulling John where he needed him.

Sinking into Rodney's body had been glorious, so tight and hot, Rodney writhing in pleasure beneath him. John had wanted it to never stop. He'd wanted to keep feeling Rodney like that, beneath him, around him, everywhere.

The vivid memories reawakened John's hunger. Without thinking he went to find Rodney, only to be stopped at the door by guards.

John growled at them, his blood boiling at anyone keeping him from his mate, but they stood their ground. Then John blinked and the rational part of him remembered they were doing their job, protecting others. He retreated into the room and tried to remember who he was.

Would Carson be able to fix him in time or would it be too late, when there was nothing left of him to rescue?

~~

Apologizing to Elizabeth and Teyla was easy. Well, not _easy_ —it was awkward and John certainly didn't enjoy it, but they accepted his apologies graciously.

Dealing with Rodney was going to be more difficult.

John hadn't been alone with Rodney since he'd turned back into a human. Rodney had only checked in to see how John was doing. He hadn't given any sign how he felt about what happened between them.

It would be easy to pretend that John couldn't remember, but it wouldn't be right. He could apologize as he had to Elizabeth and Teyla, but he didn't regret what had happened with Rodney.

Also, John couldn't recall every detail of their night together, but he did remember that Rodney had kissed him first.

Rodney could be selfless on occasion, but John was sure that he wouldn't have slept with John out of pity, especially while John wasn't entirely himself. Rodney could have walked away. John wanted to believe that he would have had enough control to let Rodney go, but Rodney hadn't even tried to leave.

John didn't know what this meant for them but he wasn't going to pretend it hadn't happened. He'd wanted it for too long to do that.

~~

"Busy?" John asked when he finally found Rodney in one of his more remote labs. John could see him tense and hoped this wouldn't end badly. More than anything, John didn't want to risk their friendship.

"I'm always busy," Rodney said, but he still spun his chair to face John.

They looked at each other for a long moment. Since Rodney didn't seem inclined to say anything, John bit the bullet. "I apologized to Elizabeth and Teyla," he said.

Rodney raised an eyebrow. Right, nobody else had seen John kiss Teyla.

"I didn't... I only kissed her," John clarified. Rodney dropped his gaze and began to frown. Before he could second-guess himself, John added, "I regret that I did it. It's nothing I would normally do."

"I see," Rodney said tightly, quickly glancing at John.

"No, Rodney," John said immediately. "I meant to _her_. I didn't come here to apologize to _you_."

Rodney was watching him warily now.

"I don't regret...what happened," John finally got out. "Between us."

"Even though you weren't quite yourself?" Rodney asked.

"We didn't do anything I didn't want to do. At least from what I remember," John added.

"What _do_ you remember?" Rodney asked.

John stepped closer. "That you taste great."

Rodney looked up at him. His lips parted, but he didn't speak.

"You _were_ yourself," John pointed out.

"Yes," Rodney said. He stood up, looking uncertain.

"I wanted you before this happened. That's why I asked you to leave. I was afraid..."

Rodney's face lost the uncertainty and a hint of a smile tugged on his skewed mouth. "I was afraid it was just the bug in you," he admitted.

John shook his head, and they both moved at the same moment, closing the distance between them.

Their kiss was sweet, slow and careful but still passionate. In contrast to John's raw need during their night together, this was a different kind of need. It was a slow burn that sank from his chest downward as the kiss deepened.

"I want to taste you again," John whispered when they finally parted.

"I'll make sure you remember everything this time," Rodney said.

John was sure he would.


End file.
